Forgiveness

The Catholic prayer says that we should forgive those who have offended us (just as we hope for divine forgiveness for our offenses, of course). In fact, neuroscience already knows that forgiving—both occasionally and habitually—promotes well-being and cardiovascular health. Forgiveness puts an end to the stress caused by chronic hatred, which stimulates the production of stress hormones, disrupts sleep, and increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, depression, and anxiety.

What happens in the brain when we forgive? An Italian study recruited volunteers to follow a script that instructed them to imagine situations of personal offense, and then instructed them to forgive their imaginary enemy or, conversely, encouraged them to plan revenge. All of this took place inside an MRI machine, which allowed the team to monitor changes in the volunteers' brain activity while they were forgiving or not.

The study showed that both forgiveness and revenge involve activation in the same structures—but in different ways. Forgiveness occurs when the activation of the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, which regulates our emotional behavior, is commanded by two structures that allow us to adopt the aggressor's point of view and reevaluate their emotional state: the precuneus and the inferior parietal lobe, respectively. This fosters empathy, which inhibits impulses for retaliation via the prefrontal cortex and brings about a positive emotional state: the relief of forgiveness granted.

If there is no forgiveness, the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex is also activated, but under the control of the medial temporal gyrus, rather than the precuneus and inferior parietal lobes (which are also active, but busy judging the aggressor as a villain). The medial temporal gyrus represents the intentions of others—in this case, to harm us. Since the aggression was intentional and we have no empathy for the villain, the brain does what is most sensible: it actively hates those who have insulted us, without forgiveness.

Forgiveness, therefore, does not depend on the facts, but on our conscious assessment of the intentions and emotions of those who have offended us. Do you want to forgive? Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Don't want to forgive? Refuse to see the insult through the eyes of your aggressor—which, frankly, in some cases is the sensible thing to do. Universal Catholic forgiveness does not keep us safe from those who are no good. Dwelling on hatred is harmful, but there is still a way out: banish the offender from your life and mind. When there is no forgiveness, distance helps.

Excerpt from Suzana Herculano-Houzel (2025) Neuroscience of Everyday Life, originally published in Folha de São Paulo in February 2014